I'm 18 from Indiana. I'm a true country girl with the style of a city girl and the heart of a nerd. So if you really wanna win my heart take me to the mall stop and do some muddin or fishin on the way home then take me home cuddle with me and put on a movie.
I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH
OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE
THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION
"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat
I JUST CUT MY HAND ON MY OWN BRA WTF
AND I GOT A PAPERCUT FROM THE BANDAID PACKAGING?!?!
Next Time: glassbottledemon breaks their knee on a pillow and gets pneumonia from a soothing cup of tea
The worst part is that actually once I broke my arm by tripping on a pillow and another time I got pneumonia from sharing a water bottle with someone who had it. ;U;
IM CHOKING ON MY OWN LAUGHTER